My problem is that I cannot use a public washroom comfortably. Dear users of the washroom with that annoying skirted figure, I have a problem. Or rather, many.
Not in the same way that most of you face discomfort of public restrooms, even though I too do not enjoy over-frequented and under-cleaned toilet bowls, the site of soggy paper towel loitering in the sink, or that wet line you get across your hips from leaning against a too-wet counter.
No, what I’m talking about is the harassment I am often faced with in these unavoidable places. My problem is that other women in the bathroom feel they have the right to interrogate me, as well as the right to be offended when I reply with a rude retort.
Not in the same way that most of you face discomfort of public restrooms, even though I too do not enjoy over-frequented and under-cleaned toilet bowls, the site of soggy paper towel loitering in the sink, or that wet line you get across your hips from leaning against a too-wet counter.
No, what I’m talking about is the harassment I am often faced with in these unavoidable places. My problem is that other women in the bathroom feel they have the right to interrogate me, as well as the right to be offended when I reply with a rude retort.
I mean, when you scornfully tell me I “need to get out of this washroom immediately,” you can’t be offended when I ask you, “Did the gender police check your vagina at the door? Because I must have missed them.”
My problem is that feeling like I need to justify my gender for something as basic as the need to use the washroom is…demeaning? Insulting? Belittling? Yeah, something like that. My problem is that the ideals of masculinity and femininity are so highly constructed that anyone or anything outside of these boundaries can be considered wrong.
It is astounding that while we are in 2013, people are still shocked that a woman can have short hair and not be wearing a long, white, virginal dress, and the shackles of patriarchy. My problem is that while I am almost guaranteed to be harassed in the women’s washroom, I am 100 per cent guaranteed to be harassed in the men’s washroom.
That’s the problem. There is no bathroom space for a girl who doesn’t look like a girl apparently should, but isn’t a boy either.
Using York’s handicapped/ gender neutral washroom is almost as alienating when your entry into the single room toilet automatically denotes you as different. My problem is that the answer to the following question isn’t obvious to others: would it really be the end of the world if we washed our hands side by side?
I can promise you that if I were literally in the toilet stall you were occupying, I would have no qualms with your displeasure. But if we pee alongside each other, in private, separate stalls, will the world really implode? I am living proof that the answer is no.
That’s the problem. There is no bathroom space for a girl who doesn’t look like a girl apparently should, but isn’t a boy either.
Using York’s handicapped/ gender neutral washroom is almost as alienating when your entry into the single room toilet automatically denotes you as different. My problem is that the answer to the following question isn’t obvious to others: would it really be the end of the world if we washed our hands side by side?
I can promise you that if I were literally in the toilet stall you were occupying, I would have no qualms with your displeasure. But if we pee alongside each other, in private, separate stalls, will the world really implode? I am living proof that the answer is no.
My problem is all I want to do is pee in peace.
So please, users of women’s washrooms everywhere, the next time you enter the bathroom and see someone that doesn’t match your standards of being a woman, check yourself before you wreck my day, and keep your comments to yourself. Also, please flush the damn toilet. You aren’t five years old. Act like it.
Sincerely, Me.
Sincerely, Me.
Krysta Townsend
Contributor
