If You Really Knew Me

Compiled by Naomi Bain
Queer & Trans issue coordinator
Caryse Firebrace
I first realized I liked girls in seventh grade.
From then on it’s always been in the back of my mind, but I was unsure how to handle these feelings. I had no openly gay friends at the time, so I had no one to talk to about what I was going through. After I graduated from high school, I came out to my closest friends at Toronto Pride 2010. A couple weeks after Pride, I told my mom and dad – it was the scariest thing I ever had to do. At first they were a bit shocked, but once I explained things they said they would love me no matter what. I was finally free to be myself.
Shadrack Jackman
Living in Toronto has allowed me to discover a part of myself I never knew existed.
Before moving to York University, there were two parts of me I had suppressed: my race and my sexuality. For the first time I felt I was in a place where my sexuality was celebrated, not just tolerated. It has taken time for me to feel com- fortable with my sexuality, but I think getting involved with queer programming at York, as well as with the city of Toronto, this past year has really helped me be okay with this part of me. I have seen homophobia firsthand, includ- ing verbal, sexual and physical abuse. I am thankful I have the opportunity to live in such a diverse city, and to attend an equally diverse school. Being queer has opened up so many doors, and now it’s our time to come together and reach out to those in smaller communities. So many of us flock to big cities and experience our freedom, and I think it is so easy to get caught up in things that you forget there is still another generation of us crying out to be free, to be loved and to be accepted. I am here; I am queer. I am loud, and I am proud. I will go where I can be celebrated, not tolerated. It’s a new kind of day; I have grown weary of all the disrespect, so shut up, suit up and let’s love.
Alastair Woods
Being queer in Toronto is fantastic because the community has extended far beyond the confines of the gaybourhood. There isn’t a part of the city where queer people can’t find a place to congregate. As someone who grew up on punk, it was great to find places like The Beaver and Vazaleen parties where I could mesh my queer identity with my love of punk music, cult movies, activism and pop culture. Whether it’s Steers & Queers at The Dakota Tavern or Big Primpin’ at the Wrongbar, Toronto reveals the queer community is not bound to stereotypes or expectations, both inside and out. Being queer at York University is a pretty liberating experience. This campus has a reputation of being pretty political and as a queer person, you get introduced very early to community organising and activism.
In my opinion, a strong tradition of activism and progressive politics makes York a fairly safe place for queer and trans people. It’s not perfect, but an active and engaged community, coupled with student unions and other clubs proactive in fighting discrimination on campus, makes York University a great place for queers.
Aaron M.
I’m an immigrant, and have explored my identity as a gay man almost exclusively in Toronto, so I should feel totally com- fortable talking about “Gay Toronto.” Unfortunately, I find talking about my “self ” in such a broad way very difficult. Perhaps the bewildering array of choices in my big bag of identities makes me hesitant. Being a gay man in Toronto, I’ve started to notice that all these identities aren’t as neatly compartmentalized and separate as I thought. At events, the misconception that black people are more homophobic than others is contradicted in bangin’ hip-hop beats. Raging Asian Women beat a mean taiko drum with energy and conviction that can shake any illusions that one might have about the uniformity of queer or gay culture. When I moved here I thought I’d develop a shiny, new static “Torontonian” identity. To my surprise I found I can’t get rid of that big bag of identities – I just keep adding to it. I guess that means I’m going to have quite a bit of baggage. I guess packing light doesn’t sit well with this immigrant.