Feeling down? Write yourself a love letter

Kristina Shatokhina
Contributor
York University psychology professor Myriam Mongrain and graduate student Leah Shapira, recently conducted a study that showed there’s a possibility you can be your own therapist by writing love letters to yourself.
The study assigned 4,500 individuals one of three conditions: self-compassion, optimism and a neutral control condition over the internet.
After filling out questionnaires that measured their level of happiness prior to beginning the study, participants wrote daily letters to themselves, encouraged to give the support and advice that they would give a friend. Those assigned to the self-compassion condition were asked to write about an upsetting event and comfort themselves afterwards. Those assigned to the optimism condition were asked to write about how to achieve a future with their current issues worked out.
“Some people, they can be good to others, but it’s hard for them to treat themselves kindly. This exercise helped people develop this kind of attitude towards themselves, making themselves feel more comforted and feeling soothed,” explained Mongrain, who comes from a background of positive psychology and researching vulnerability and depression.
Through these exercises, participants essentially became their own therapists, comforting and encouraging themselves.
Participants logged onto the website every night for seven days to report on their experiences, and were then assessed again one month, three months and six months later.
When participants reported on their levels of happiness through questionnaires that measured their overall satisfaction of life, it was discovered the exercise has a positive effect.
“That really seems to suggest that being able to provide that kind of support for yourself, that soothing towards yourself is something that will help you cope better and feel better. That’s basically the take home message from that exercise,” said Mongrain.
The results were compared to those from the participants of the neutral control condition, which acted as a control group. The control group was asked to write about an early memory, which has connection with positive effects on mood. The control group participants were an effective comparison, as they were also writing and actively participating in the project. When results were calculated, there was an immediate difference between those participants who wrote the letters and those who did not.
Not only did the study drastically increase people’s happiness and satisfaction of life, but multiple observations were also made about personality types and the specific help that they needed. Certain individuals excelled in the self-compassion condition due to their ability to generate the soothing words they commonly use to help others.
According to Mongrain, the study was inspired by work often seen in therapy. “We know the kind of people that are vulnerable to mental illnesses, and we also know what works in therapy. So what we’re doing is extending therapy techniques to brief exercises that anybody can do,” said Mongrain.
The three conditions were selected from a master thesis written by Leah Shapira. Particular personality types were discovered to contain markers of vulnerability to depression. From this, the exercises were compiled to help people fight against depression. Considering the study was based on the analysis of certain personality types, it was recognized that each personality would respond differently to the exercises.
This York study is part of a big movement in psychology called “Positive Psychology.” The aim of this movement is to strengthen people’s virtues and satisfaction of life, so that it can be understood what truly brings happiness to individuals.