Tantra: adding a new dimension to sex

Andrew Cichocki
Contributor
Why do people like sex?
Most people like it primarily for the physical pleasure it brings; some for the emotional connection it creates between two (or more) people; and some people like procreating.
Is there a fourth category we could add to this equation? How about spirituality?
The idea of sex being spiritual may seem novel, as the dominant religions that influence our society portray sex as primarily for procreation and say, explicitly or implicitly, that having sex for any other reason is a sin, shameful, wrong, etc.
Some Eastern religious traditions tell us that sex can have a spiritual, sacred or metaphysical aspect to it, such as the transfer of energy between partners.
Carlyle Jansen, founder of the Toronto feminist sex store Good For Her, knows something about tantric sex, and has been teaching sex workshops since 1995. Since discovering orgasms in her late 20s, she has been an avid student, consumer, advocate and educator of human sexuality, as well as a proud mother of two.

What is tantra?
Tantra is a practice of 65 arts that originated in India. Sex is just one of the many arts, but that is the part that has been focused on and repackaged for the Western market.
It is about conscious lovemaking (using specific intention), creating erotic energy (rather than just waiting for the chemistry to take you away) and spiritual/emotional connection with yourself and/or any partner(s). Some people consider it a spiritual practice.
What makes tantra better than regular sex?
Tantra is not better than “regular” sex any more than oral is better than anal sex. Tantric sex is great for those who like it. It is not so much about what you do, but more about how you do what you do.
You can have “regular” sex but incorporate tantric techniques, such as breathwork, eye contact, conscious movement of energy, or not. Oral sex, for example, can be practiced in a “regular” way or with a more conscious connection, in a tantric manner. However, many people who have learned tantric practices find it more satisfying or connecting.
Would you say that it adds a spiritual or sacred element to sex?
Yes, tantric principles – which are common to other sacred spiritual traditions – add a dimension that people describe as either sacred, spiritual, deep or emotional.
Are there any books, groups or workshops you’d recommend to someone who wants to learn about tantra for the first time?
I am teaching a workshop on Sacred Sex that incorporates participants’ own spiritual traditions into lovemaking – some like the tantric rituals, and others find them a little “woo-woo” or impersonal, as they relate to a spiritual tradition that they do not belong to.
Good For Her also offers a workshop called Diving into Ecstasy, which is about tantra specifically with a heterosexual focus.
[When it comes to books,] Urban Tantra is my favourite, and applies to everyone regardless of orientation, gender and spiritual traditions (including absence thereof). It also incorporates SM [sadomasochism] into the practice.
Radical Ecstasy is also inclusive and more specifically about sacred SM.
[Of DVDs,] Ancient Secrets of Sexual Ecstasy is great for a heterosexual audience. Hearts Cracked Open is another good feature, [especially] for a lesbian/queer women’s audience.