Imagine the York Lions teams trapped inside a haunted house filled with flickering lights, dusty trophies, and a paranormal presence lurking in every corner. One by one, the teams must fight to survive the night. Only a few will make it out alive. Here’s how it all plays out: who falls, and who escapes the horrors?
Note: In true team spirit, if one player gets caught by the ghost, the whole squad goes down with them.
Football — The Summoning Gone Wrong
The football team doesn’t just die first — they are the reason the haunting started. In an attempt to break their playoff curse, they try summoning a spirit of good victory, but end up calling upon a Mexican ghost. Fortunately, he seems willing to assist in their goals anyway. That is, until they make him angry after mistaking a burrito for a shawarma during their ritual.
Just like their season, their scene in this horror movie is short-lived. They don’t get to make it to the important part of the story, but at least they went down believing it was their year.
Basketball — Final Destination: Regular Season
The basketball team makes a brief appearance — just like in real life, where they rarely make the playoffs. Thinking themselves too cool to be scared, they try to take on the Mexican ghost (who was trapped inside a Labubu doll dressed like a mariachi singer), but the moment one player tries to grab it, boom! A grand piano falls from nowhere, completely flattening them. The other teams just watch. Honestly, no one was surprised; they’re very used to seeing the basketball team get squashed.
Volleyball — Set Point of No Return
The volleyball team — the glamour girls of the group — have made it halfway through the haunted house, still hoping to find a way out. Suddenly, a tall figure appears wearing a U Sports shirt. Their eyes light up in excitement. Whether they escape the haunted house quickly becomes irrelevant — maybe this is their shot at glory! One player lunges forward, thinking that claiming the jersey might finally earn her a ticket to Nationals. But their championship road was only an illusion. Before anyone can scream, the shadowy figure drags her into a dark room, where their Nationals dreams — and story — come to an abrupt end.
Hockey — Cold Feet
After hours of hustling, the team finally finds a way out of the haunted house. But just as they reach for the doorknob, all of them freeze — literally. Overcome by nerves, they cannot move. Whichever poltergeist cursed them has a cruel sense of humor. The team is paralyzed in the most critical moment, just like on the ice.
Soccer — The Final Girl
The soccer teams manage to escape the walls of the haunted house, just like they always survive the regular season and make the OUA playoffs. But as they sprint down the driveway to safety, their celebration is cut short. Yeo the Lion emerges from the shadows. Possessed by the Mexican Labubu ghost, Yeo charges straight at them with a loud roar.
Just when it seems all hope is lost, the field hockey team lunges out of the bushes, swinging their sticks at Yeo. The field hockey team rises to the occasion, just like they always do in real life. But whether the Mexican Labubu ghost can be so easily defeated is another story. If the field hockey teams and soccer teams can escape the haunted house, they can win gold this season and give hope to the rest of the pride.
So if you hear strange noises coming from York Lions Stadium, don’t be scared. It’s probably another playoff dream gone wrong, or it’s Yeo still possessed. Either way, consider it a York tradition.
