Arslan Ahmed | Sports Editor
Featured image: The party will celebrate the Lions eventual championship… a preward, so to speak. | Courtesy of Marco Antonio Ramón García
In a fairy tale, the tortoise is supposed to win the race when it is all said and done. The hare can run all it wants; however, the persistent tortoise will catch him and win the race. Likewise, the Lions have been tortoises in the sport of basketball. They haven’t won yet, but are optimistic they will eventually become champions.
The Lions are so confident they will win the championship one day, the team would like to throw a pre-championship party.
The party is scheduled for April 31 at Tait McKenzie at 8 a.m., as the team is in the habit for waking up early for practice. Josh Misedshot says: “I love morning practices—since I can’t sleep at night thinking about all our losses, I don’t need an alarm and am wide awake at 8 a.m.”
The party will start off with a classic game of beer pong—which may last forever, on account of the basketball team’s shooting percentage. On second thought, it might be quick, as their opponents may just shoot them off the table.
Next activity on the party schedule is the blind free throw contest. This contest gives the men’s basketball team a huge advantage, as they have been shooting free throws blindly all season.
Beware contestants, you might not make a single free throw blindfolded, but the Lions may make two with their eyes open. Keeping the confidence of the athletes intact is important—hence, the men’s team will shoot without a blindfold, and odds are, they will narrowly beat blindfolded participants.
The 21 regular-season losses and last place finish in the conference has been interpreted as positive, and the team expects to continue losing to eventually learn how to become champions.
