Vanessa Chambers-Stewart | Contributor
Featured image: Ghosting can cause major disruptions in communication, leaving individuals feeling confused. | Courtesy of Pexels
Your phone lights up with this message flashing on your screen: “Hey! What’s up?”
But you have no recollection of this phone number. Why? There are probably two reasons for this: this person isn’t your friend, or this is a person you haven’t spoken to in months or years.
While there are plenty who would entertain this conversation, I am not one of them. I would probably ask who it is and wait for a reply, or just ignore the message altogether. But before we elaborate on this unknown number, let’s discuss this behaviour.
Is this someone you’d consider a friend? Has it always been acceptable to just disappear and reappear? Is this considered ghosting?
Ghosting is a practice of suddenly ending all contact with a person without explanation, and has become more popular in the last few years due to the increased prevalence of dating apps and online communication.
In the past 10 years, the increased use of technology—while creating more opportunities for communication—has also created more opportunities for people to be impolite. How are we supposed to know the difference between disappearing and ghosting? Is there a general time frame, or does it vary from person to person?
Fourth-year Theatre major Katya explains how technology has impacted her relationships.
“I believe that technology does help with our ability to maintain friendships. I’ve relocated at least 18 times within my life and I have friends in multiple places. Technology has given me the ability to remain friends with all of them,” she says.
However, if you’re an individual receiving an anonymous text message, how are you supposed to know where this conversation will lead? Do you respond and wait another couple of months—or years—for a reply? Or do you behave in the same manner as the person sending the text, dropping in and out of someone else’s life? Some don’t mind this indirect form of communication, while others ask if there should be restrictions when it comes to ghosting.
“An important factor is being an honest friend. Can we trust each other enough to say: ‘Hey, that outfit isn’t working out for you today’?” says Katya.
“Reliability is a key factor in maintaining a friendship.”
Whether we like it or not, technology will continue to evolve. Over time, we’ve gone from MSN, to Facebook, Twitter, and beyond.
But ghosting has become increasingly popular among Generation X and later. Social media has created the idea that everyone who adds you as a contact is automatically categorized as a friend, making it possible for people to find you through pictures, mutual friends, and even interests. My question is: When do you end the game of playing phone tag?
Technology will continue to impact our lives, and it is within our ability to utilize this potential vice to establish and maintain relationships with people. However, it is also within our ability to explain and clarify our relationships to avoid misunderstandings.
What people seem to overlook is that ghosting can cause major disruptions in communication, leaving both parties feeling confused and asking where their friendship stands. If one person genuinely considers the other a friend, that doesn’t mean that both individuals are on the same page.
It can be quite hard to come to terms with what your label is if there’s a lack of or no communication. But if ghosting is only misleading people, then why can’t we just be honest with each other?
There are an endless amount of reasons why people ghost each other. However, if we’re substituting ghosting people for fear of ending a friendship, then it will only end up backfiring.
