Books, Banter, and BFFs: Talking about female friendship on campus

Cassondra Dolan, Contributor
Featured image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
York isn’t exactly well-known for its sense of community or welcoming atmosphere. Arriving here as a first year student is a daunting experience often reminiscent of horrible cinematic depictions of high school. The corridors are crowded with people and the smell of fast food, the campus is impossible to navigate through and everyone seems to be hanging out with their amazing, inexplicably predetermined cliques. Four years into my undergraduate degree, I still find myself seemingly isolated every time I’m on campus, wandering friendlessly towards the snaking TTC 196B lineup to make my way back to the safety of my downtown neighbourhood. I’ve tried endlessly to make female connections on campus, though I haven’t had much success. After extensively overanalyzing the situation, I believe that the Keele campus may be the culprit of my seemingly lonely undergraduate existence.
As the second-largest university in Ontario with a whopping community population of over 55,000 students, York has a responsibility to foster an environment that is accessible, safe, and comfortable for its high-paying students and hardworking staff. However, there is only enough seating for a small fraction of this population and only enough social gathering space for an extremely limited amount of people.
Beyond organized groups that have been afforded a private space on the upper floors of the Student Centre, friends and colleagues are forced to cram into food courts or sit on the floor of Scott Library. This difficult setting doesn’t exactly promote opportunities to groom blossoming new friendships. As students, we are at a moment in our lives where the support and encouragement of others is crucial to our success. Establishing new social and personal connections with others that are existing within the same stress-inducing, high pressure phase of life is just as important as succeeding academically.
Last Thursday, I attended a sold out event at the Gladstone Hotel titled “Girl Crush: Conversations about Female Friendship” in an attempt to find out more about how we form and maintain female bonds as young women in Toronto. Presented by local non-profit literary organization Pages UnBound, the event featured powerhouse female speakers from around the city including PhD student Margeaux Feldman, co-founders of Canadian Feminist magazine GUTS, Cynthia Spring and Nadine Adelaar, and the charismatic life coach Natalie Amber.
The entire room was brimming with excitement for friendship, feminism and for new knowledge. The speakers discussed the importance of understanding and appreciating the complexities of female friendships and opening yourself to new friend-ortunities. They reminded us of the fundamental importance of surrounding yourself with like-minded, caring individuals that help you to be the best version of yourself. But most importantly, they upheld feminist ideals of post-structuralism, reminding us that diversity is one of the most powerful tools we possess as young women in patriarchal society. A final visit from Pish Posh the Friendship Fairy emphasized the beauty of female friendship by sharing secret ‘pal-entines’ love notes from one member of the audience to another.
Perhaps the Friendship Fairy needs to make a visit to York to help establish a more stable sense of community, or maybe we just need to fight harder for shared spaces to meet, greet, and get to know our peers. In a society where women are often pitted against each other, opportunities to come together instead of evading each other and our differences would be welcomed by so many. I didn’t make any new friends that night, but I came to appreciate the ones I have a lot more. I’m going to continue to seek out members of the York community that shares my perspective and interests for the sake of friendship, and for the sake of female solidarity on campus.
Follow Girl Crush on Facebook to find out more about their upcoming events and how you can get involved in celebrating and critiquing female identity in Toronto.