Compiled by Mark Grant
Raulph Stevens
Second Year, Undecided
“The usual; bum around Europe in the name of self-discovery, and then settle for a position in retail middle management.”
Larry Evans
First Year, English
“On the record? I’m going to use my English degree to pursue a meaningful career in academia. Off the record? I am going to sell as much weed as my friends can smuggle from Vancouver.”
Leslie Peter
First year, Sociology
“I’ll probably spend years putting up with friends telling me that I officially ‘know how to hold a fork,’ only to snap and cave in one of their throats with my elbow.”
Jessica Allen
Second Year, Film Production
“Are you kidding me? I’m doing my third incomplete undergrad degree. I’ll be here so long that OSAP will have to carry me out, kicking and screaming.”
Lisa Dentures
First Year, Dance
“I think I’ll deny that I ever went to York.”
DISCLAIMER: This issue contains works of satire. All names used in this story are invented, except in cases where public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names or events is accidental and coincidental.
